Week Woman

A Pox on the Patriarchy



So I was in the shower, where all great ideas come to the patriarchy, thinking about the nasty cobwebs on my ceiling. I tried repeatedly to block them out with images of fairies . Woe is me, it worked not. But out of the vortex (more on this later) created by this image clusterfuck, came, amazingly, a bona fide IDEA. (Must’ve got sucked in by the fearful female gape on its way to its rightful residence, which was obviously in the filing cabinet hidden in an underground labyrinth, guarded by Plato, marked ‘subversive ideas that might untether our women’). Anyway, luckily, my gape got hold of it and there I was, I possessor of both a wandering womb and an idea.

Eureka! I cried

And quickly dried

My hide.

I really should thank Woman’s Hour and Google actually. Why? Well, dear children, sit down and I’ll tell ye a[nother] story. It was a dark and stormy night (stop that – Ed). Well, it was actually, despite being June 2012. And, as one does, I was vaching around on my computer, when I came across a Google page that tells you what gender it thinks you are. Curious, I clicked on it. It thought I was a man.

I was so angry I decided to go to sleep.

I woke up the next day still filled with that hysterical rage that Freud should have therapied out of my kind years ago, and went to have a shower, listening to my Woman’s Hour podcast. It was while listening to this programme which pretty much never lets me down, that I thought, ‘why on earth is this the only thing aimed at women that doesn’t assume that I am a vacant consumer-driven hole, just begging to be filled with make-up, handbags and fashion?’ Reader, it was quite a moment.

I ran down the stairs and told my patriarch-in-waiting. He thought this this was a fabulous idea. So on his say-so (naturellment) I called in a make-shift council and relayed orders. As you can imagine, this was met with malaise and sulking. But as you can see from the fact that I’m writing this now, after a quick whipping, with insinuations of minor flaying to come, I rounded up a respectable number of contributors.

So here we are, all ready to unleash the proverbial pox over the patriarchy:

  • La Coucs: Minor feminist celebrity with a penchant for cows.
  • La Vache: Lesser-spotted bovine beauty; distinguished by her perennial Liberty ™ print frocks.
  • La Slav: Does what it says on the tin.
  • Le Piaf: Top Ornithological Scholar
  • Le Boufant: God knows who let him in. (Who? – Ed.)
  • L’Artiste – Design and Duran Duran
  • Le Guru ‘Marketing’ – just ticking off those gender stereotypes
  • And of course our guest contributors, who will be introduced as and when they appear

So the plan is to create an alternative to the weekly dross that is drip-drip-dripped into our vacant minds. We’ll look at current affairs and women’s issues, but we’ll also follow those wandering wombs where’ere they lead us. As suggested by the pronouns in our founder member list, we’re for men as much as women: as far as we’re concerned, the patriarchy sucks as much for most of them as it does for women. Sickeningly, we hope you enjoy reading this as much as we’ve enjoyed writing it. And we hope you like it enough to want to join in!

12 comments on “Her-Story

  1. azblue
    May 13, 2013

    Well- since i’m more of a minimalist feminist myself- I rejoice that some website read you as ‘male’. We are ALL humans- are we not ? As someone who identifies as genderqueer (somewhere in between female and male)- I like to hope the gender binary can be stretched!

    • Week Woman
      May 17, 2013

      I’d rather they didn’t link certain behaviour with being male to be honest. That’s the problem – that’s where the binary lies.

  2. louisamayalcatt
    March 7, 2013

    Love your blog, I’m just starting out but looks like we’re on the same page. I look forward to reading more. LMA

    • Week Woman
      May 17, 2013

      thanks! I don’t have time to post as much as I’d like anymore, but hopefully will start up again in a few months :)

  3. inadifferentvoice
    November 6, 2012

    I did a shedload of those psychometric assessment tests with a specialist firm a few years ago, which also claimed that I thought like a man. They admitted they ranked certain questions lower on the basis of being weaker – and guess which kind of attributes they were? Yep, caring, understanding, empathy,,, apparently even being able to accurately predict and tell them the outcome of the tests before they marked them proved little about my ability, Bonkers.

    • Week Woman
      November 7, 2012

      very interesting – not to mention infuriating!

  4. Donna Navarro
    October 31, 2012

    Fantastically written – witty & inspiring. Thank God for ‘wandering wombs’ and bona fide ideas!

  5. Pingback: Words Matter: Feminism and Patriarchy – Who Gets To Define Them? « Week Woman

  6. Pingback: Counting By Genders – Why We Still Need Feminism « Week Woman

  7. pegs=legs=who?
    July 19, 2012

    Brilliant! Feeling smiley, inspired, revved up, raging and with you! Love the way you’ve told the tale. Me, I’m in.

    • Week Woman
      July 19, 2012

      Thank you very much – so glad it’s had that effect on you!

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